Tough Love: Learning To Cope

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

Death.

The concept of death was far from foreign to her. It was a simple fact that someday, everyone and everything would eventually return to the land from whence it came. She had seen it many times over the years; both in nature, and by undue violence. She had come to accept that the humans she had grown to care about, those she now called her friends, would likely pass long before her time was over. What she hadn’t expected was just how abrupt, and painful, it could be.

Sitting in the garden area of the Green Goblin tavern, Faeryl could vaguely make out the sounds of light conversation and laughter drifting up from below. She had retreated to the garden in order to distance herself from those who cared about her as the emotional turmoil in her mind caused her to become even more irate and embittered. Fairly certain that no one had even noticed her retreat, she closed her eyes and began once again to reflect on the last few days.

~~~

“Elerius is dead.”

Her initial reaction had been a numb disbelief. As those three small words began to sink in, she had quickly departed Aingeal’s company and sought the comforting silence of the small beach near Britain. Eventually though, Edred tracked her down and a short time after that, even Judas and Jolicia found her. Informing the others of the news had been hard, for even as the words left her mouth, she remained unsure as to whether or not she believed it.

By the next morning, the numbness that gripped her had turned to pain, and the pain to anger. Every mention of his death renewed her pain and reinforced the growing resentment of those around her. She began to retreat into herself; pushing her friends away and speaking harshly, if at all.

By the time she arrived at the Salty Dog a day later to find Judas speaking with Dezera Blackwell, she had resolved to simply stop caring. She let the blind fury control her words, giving Dezera the name of Claudia, even knowing that Judas had been attempting to keep it concealed.

Hardly a day after that, they had found Anna who had been held captive and badly beaten. While she had thankfully survived her ordeal at the hands of Beatrice, it served as another blow to further isolate Faeryl in her mind, and she had all but completely quit speaking to her friends.

~~~

Distracted from her reflection by the unmistakable sound of approaching footsteps, Faeryl slowly opened her eyes and, with utter disinterest, turned her gaze to the vine covered opening in the hedges…

[Edred Lanfel]

The night air was calm with a slight hint of a chill. Riverwind, his horse, and he, rode for the tavern, The Green Goblin.

The trip was relatively short, which was probably a good thing. This allowed his mind to only wander for a short period of time. The last couple of weeks had been tough, especially with the loss of a friend. It was affecting nearly everyone, leaving many with questions yet not answered. He knew it was especially tough on Faeryl. Over the last week he had tried to help, he was running out of ideas. Edred also hoped to speak with Judas later in regards to any other information he had discovered.

Approaching the Tavern, Edred dismounted, and secured Riverwind to a sturdy tree. Before leaving he made sure Riverwind was comfortable. He left him with a handful of apples, which were his favorite, then made his way into the Tavern. Edred saw many familiar faces as well as many new ones as he made his way into the large open room on the second floor.

While making his way to his seat, he overheard, Deraj, ask where Faeryl had run off too. Jolicia, mentioned she saw her make her way to the roof top. Edred took a seat next to Jolicia, while sitting across from Deraj. They spoke briefly then he excused himself to go track down Faeryl.

The roof top was covered, nearly every bit of it, with plants and stones. The Hedges were as tall as he, which provided small areas of privacy. From the stairs he could see Faeryl. Her silhouette was vaguely noticeable behind the thick cover of a row of hedges. Edred approached her, making enough noise so she wouldn't be startled.

"Hello, Fae." Edred spoke

She hardly looked up at him; her greeting was as distant as she appeared to be. Her thoughts were obviously focused elsewhere.

This didn’t help any for he was already slightly bothered with how poorly his help had been turning out.

“May I sit?” Edred asked.

“Go ahead.” Her words were quick.

He shook his head. “Perhaps I will stand for the moment.” Bothered with her tone he didn't want to sit.

“Suit yourself…” As she trailed off.

"Are you going to join the group below?" Edred asked.

“Why bother” was all she said.

That didn’t sit well with him. Shifting his gaze to the roof floor…Edred paused and thought…a moment later he nodded to himself.

“I understand…it’s still lingering…still consuming your thoughts…” He spoke.

She looked away as he spoke.

“Is there something that I am missing, something you’re not telling me when it comes to dealing with the recent loss of our friend?” His tone harsh and voice slightly elevated.

“No!” Her response was quick and sharp.

“Perhaps it is better I wait…maybe we should talk later…this may not be an appropriate place to discuss this.” He finished and looked as if he was going to walk away without saying good bye.

He could no longer hold back. He had to let it out, get it off his chest. He spoke to her in a tone he had rarely ever used. He was angered and agitated. The words seemed to spew from his mouth without thought or concern…it wasn’t hard to tell that these were pent up emotions being expressed.

“You need to let go, these things happen, regardless of how horrible they can be sometimes. There wasn’t anything you could have done differently to make the outcome any different.”

“You’re acting childish and selfish”

“Please, Fae, talk to me!”

Her glare was piercing…it cut right through to him.

“Stop that! You know this isn’t easy for me to say, but it has to be said!” Edred spoke again.

“What is your point?” her voice bit sharply.

“My point is that it’s time to move past this; not forget it or anything like that, but to learn to deal with things like this. This will not be the last time that someone you know well dies...the longer you are among humans the more death you'll see...you're an elf, and I half-blooded; We'll see many human friends pass before our time is taken from these lands.” Edred finished his long winded speech.

She muttered quietly to herself

“I don’t know what else to say at this point. It’s been bothering me for a week now…I thought I was helping…perhaps I wasn’t…ever…making a difference.

He paused for a moment

When you want to talk, send word. Till then I think I will head for a less crowded Tavern to spend some time in thought.”

Her glancing eyes met his, she looked to be struggling with something, but before she could speak he had turned and left.

He didn’t speak to anyone on his way out. He left the Tavern, mounted his horse, Riverwind, and made his way back to Britain. He would eventually arrive at the Unicorn’s Dream, a small tavern in lower East Britain.

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

Faeryl sat speechless for what felt like an eternity, her eyes still fixed on where he had been standing only moments ago. Of all those she had expected would react negatively towards her recent attitude, Edred had not been among them. Closing her eyes finally, she attempted to push the outburst from her mind. However, the stinging words of her friend would not be so easily ignored.

You can't sit and dwell on what happened.

Why not? It wasn’t like she was hurting anyone by doing so. Or was she? Frowning, Faeryl once again tried to force Edred’s words from her mind.

A deep breath.

You need to let go.

How could she let go? Their friend was gone, and they didn’t even know for sure who had killed him…

A shaky exhale.

You need to just understand that this stuff happens!

“Dina… Dina!” Shaking her head, Faeryl squeezed her eyes shut in a futile attempt to prevent the tears that threatened to fall.

You're acting childish and selfish!

A pang of guilt.

The words continued to echo in her mind, forcing her to finally accept the truth as she burst into tears. Elerius was gone, and no amount of denial would change that fact. Edred was right. She was being childish. Responding to the loss with misplaced anger and negativity was immature, and something that should be below her; especially now that past events were no longer a factor. She was also being selfish. She wasn’t the only one affected by the murder. They were all feeling the pain, and her friends didn’t deserve the difficult attitude she had adopted.

She wept alone for several minutes before calming enough to think rationally. She needed to apologize to everyone, especially Edred. Ever since she gave him the news he had been trying to help her deal with her pain, all the while suffering his own loss. Descending the stairs to the tavern, Faeryl scanned the thinning crowd for signs of her friend. When she failed to find him, she quickly left.

Arriving in Britain, Faeryl paused and chewed her lip, unsure where to begin looking. She tried to recall what Edred had told her before his departure.

I think I will head for a less crowded tavern.

A less crowded tavern. That certainly ruled out the Salty Dog… leaving at least three other taverns in Britain as possibilities, assuming he was even in Britain. If not...

Gathering her courage, Faeryl set off for the first of the taverns, determined to make things right.

[Edred Lanfel]

Edred arrived in Britain shortly after leaving the Green Goblin. His horse ride to Britain hadn't changed his mood, only gave him time to think.

He entered the Unicorn's Dream; it was quiet, only a few guests sat in the nearly vacant establishment. He took a seat at a clean table and motioned to the bar maiden to bring him some wine. She returned with a bottle. Edred tossed her a few coins, with a few more for a tip.

"Bring another bottle soon", He mentioned as he popped the cork with a small knife.

He sipped from the glass of wine he poured while he thought about what had just happened. Edred didn’t understand why he questioned how he handled himself at the Green Goblin?! He was only trying to help…a thought that raced through his mind. This wasn’t the first time he had tried to help. They had spent several nights at the Salty Dog talking about what had happened. From the first news of the disaster he’d taken on the role of trying to help Fae with the challenging emotions of loss. He knew there was no reason to question his actions…he only hoped Fae would eventually understand.

He shrugged and sighed as he finished his first glass of wine.

While he drank, his mind continued to ponder the events of the evening. We're his words too harsh, had he said too much, should he have waited for a better time to speak with her....all questions he couldn't answer.

As he sat there he rested his elbows on the worn wood of the table. A wrinkle formed between his eyes as the tavern door opened. A cool breeze blew in; shadows danced across the walls, the flames of candles flickered against the gusts strength. A tall and thin woman stood in the doorway. She was crying…and seemed to be searching the room for someone…

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

Much to Faeryl’s dismay, neither the Cat’s Lair nor the Blue Boar had yielded any trace of Edred. Disheartened, she slowly made her way across the bridge towards the Unicorn’s Horn, her last hope for finding her friend in Britain. As she rounded the corner of the Unicorn’s Horn, she immediately recognized Edred’s horse, Riverwind, waiting patiently as ever by the door. Taking a deep breath, she slowly pushed the heavy doors open and remaining in the doorway, scanned the room until her gaze fell on Edred.

She froze. Her mind raced with a million things she wished to say, but the words wouldn’t come. She tried to force herself to move, but it was as though her feet were firmly rooted to the ground. All she could do was stand and watch motionless as he raised his head to look at her before turning back to his mug. It felt like hours, but couldn’t have been more than a minute before he called to her.

“Please... Come sit... If you’d like…”

Hesitantly Faeryl found herself moving closer. Upon reaching the table and sitting down, she immediately dropped her gaze to her lap and spoke softly “Amin hiraetha...” Edred shot her a curious look as he quietly responded.

“Fae, I do not speak the language of your people... of the people of my blood that I’ve never met.”

“It means... I’m sorry” she explained. She raised her head slightly to look at him at the same moment he lowered his.

“I am as well...” he looked up at her as he spoke “I was cruel and harsh... I spoke without thinking...”

“You had every right to be. You were right in saying that I was being... childish and selfish.”

“I didn't know what else to do, Fae.”

He continued to speak, telling her how he had had no one when he had lost his parents, and seeing her in need, had tried to be there for her, to comfort her. He only hoped his actions hadn’t gone unnoticed. Wiping away her tears, Faeryl answered “Your kindness never goes unnoticed Edred.”

“I hope that this will not affect our friendship.”

She slowly raised her gaze to meet his, and for several minutes they sat watching each other in silence, until Faeryl finally stood up. Edred watched her as she slowly made her way around the table and came to a stop behind him. Before he could react, she hugged him lightly and whispered “Diola lle.” Even though they were foreign to him, Edred nodded, seeming to understand the meaning behind her words.

After a long moment, she let go and took a seat beside him. She could feel the tears beginning to fall again, but this time they came from an overwhelming sense of relief. Relief that she finally understood and could come back from the loss, and relief that her friend could forgive her for her actions. Feeling his arm around her, Faeryl rested her head on his shoulder as he pulled her closer to comfort her.

“Diola lle... Mellonamin.”

After giving her shoulder a gentle and reassuring squeeze, Edred released her, drawing his arm back to his side as he spoke.

“I feel that sometimes, like now, a silent moment shared is all that is needed...”

Faeryl looked over at him and nodded in agreement. Knowing that their friendship was none the worse from their argument, the two remained in the Unicorn’s Horn enjoying each other's company and continuing their conversation long into the night…