Post by Ouroboros on Sept 27, 2018 0:44:52 GMT -5
Ye Journale of Johann Bloodlute
(Pages have been torn out and crumpled, uncrumpled and stuffed back in. Some posts may be out of chronological order, and if so it will be specified at the beginning of the post)
My days at Lord British's Conservatory of Music are over. Over. For good. I was expelled after a disastrous scene at the equinox celebration event. It was the most embarrassing thing I have ever experienced!
okay, maybe if you don't count that time the gourds fell out of my bodice when I was in disguise and caused a ruckus while sneaking about with that gal from the mummer's troupe. That was possibly more embarrassing, but this one will have much more dire repercussions on my future career as a minstrel.
I was given the honor of performing a solo recital of "Autumn in Sosaria", a harp composition I had been working on for the better part of two years. Influential members of the Bardic guild from around Sosaria were present. Faculty from other well known musical schools. More nobility than usual - I think some asses were being kissed for funding grants or something. Whatever the case, I had a lot riding on the line with the performance and you know what happened? DO YOU KNOW??? YES YOU PROBABLY HEARD ABOUT IT ALREADY!!!! Oh I didn't choke up, or have frigid fingers or any of that - i wear that piece like a comfortable cloak! No , what happened was something else entirely came out when I put fingers to the strings and I had absolutely no control over it! I was playing "Autumn" but that's not what came out of the harp and out of my mouth.
The worst possible song I could sing was sung that evening! You know the one Dad spent a decade writing in shit-houses across the world during his god damnable treasure hunts?
That's right, the headmasters and the dean selected me as the star pupil to represent the Conservatory in front of every important eye in the musical world and I sang "I TOOK A SHIT".
I kept trying to play something else, ANYTHING else but verse after verse kept coming out. I got through seven verses before I was physically removed from the stage. Thank the gods I didn't make it through all 30 or they might have strung me up right there and hung me with a curtain-weight.
Vicious verbal lambasting afterwards that I would rather not recount.
Blackballed by the guilds, I'll probably never play a respectable venue again, let alone a noble court.
I WANT TO DIE!!! I WOULD LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE BUT IM DRINKING THE LAST OF MY LIQUOR RIGHT NOW!
Bedevil and Curses to everything, I'm leaving town to get good and drunk at some tavern where nobody will know my face, name or voice.
***huge blot of ink on the page here with a ragged hole in the paper, looks like the quill was driven into the page hard enough to break***