Faeryl's Journal

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

Faeryl smiled as she slowly turned the small journal over in her hands. It was bound in soft leather, dyed a darker shade of blue with intricate Elven designs embossed in silver on the front. Opening to the first cream-coloured page, she paused to read the short, yet elegantly written note left by her sister.

Seler’amin,

I have noticed that there seems to be much occupying your thoughts recently and decided that perhaps this book could be of use. I recall that you used to write frequently back home when you were troubled.

Amin mela lle,
~ Alaesi

It was a habit that Alaesi had never understood, but Faeryl found necessary to keep her thoughts in order, though she had been increasingly neglecting her writing recently. Sitting down, she turned to the next page and picking up her pen, began to write.

Much has occurred recently that I could possibly write about; the death of Elerius, the ongoing raids, Chanticleer’s determination to kill Judas (I must remember to relay to Judas and Jolicia what Minalan told me in relation to that issue). At this very moment however, my conflicting emotions are what I feel need to be sorted; before I end up hurting someone inadvertently.

I will not deny that seeing Lucas at night at least brings some comfort, but still, it is difficult. I just have not felt as close to him in the past few weeks. I tried to ignore it, but Judas’ recent questions regarding my relationship with Edred, and any feelings I may have towards him have caused me to starting thinking more about the situation. He told me to follow my heart, but I find myself unsure if what I feel for Edred is true, or if it is merely due to the loneliness I feel when I see Judas and Jolicia, or Aingeal and Minalan together…

I spoke with Edred about it the other night, and perhaps he is right in that it may simply be a phase that will pass and that I should speak with Lucas about how I feel before making any decisions. It may be that things will work themselves out in the end. I guess time will tell.

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

I arrived at the Salty Dog last evening in higher spirits than I have experienced in the longest time; though I have yet to tell anyone the reason. However, as the evening progressed, I could feel my newfound joy slowly ebbing with each piece of discouraging news, leaving me feeling rather subdued by the time I returned home.

It would appear that yet another merchant has been murdered, this time in Papua. Having spoken with the man Victor, and a rather frivolous and frustrating girl in Trinsic while investigating a previous murder, we've found that a woman could be responsible for both... though no one has any useful description of her appearance in either case.

We also learned that the man we had left shackled in Moonglow has also been killed. Seems Rachael's theory is starting to prove plausible, although it is only one of a few possibilities.

I thought perhaps something good could still come of the evening after Erollisi arrived at the tavern, however she had no useful information for me in regards to the possible whereabouts of Chanticleer's uncle. She did however say that she would let me know if she heard anything, which is better than nothing I suppose.

I had tried my best to explain the situation and answer her questions while withholding names and other potentially sensitive details. It seemed to have worked until Minalan decided to be helpful and tell her rather bluntly that Chanticleer wanted to murder Judas. He then walked out, leaving me to attempt damage control.

Amin dela ten' lye ilya. Amin n'sinta mani um.

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

Much has happened since I last took the time to write; so much infact that it is hard to know where to even begin. Deception, anger, greed, mistrust, betrayal, murder...

The facts are that we met a man who called himself Johnson so that Evelyn could sign over the company's assets in exchange for having Jolicia's name cleared. Only after the contract was signed, we were betrayed. Ironically, it was Rachael who turned on us and joined with this Johnson, an Orc and several others to murder Evelyn and leave the rest of us battered and shaken.

After a time we returned to the Salty Dog, where things went from bad to far worse. A massive argument broke out to the point that I am not entirely sure of exactly what was said by whom and to whom. It was a small relief when Lucas came in and quieted us all down some. After I managed to calm down and consider the facts, I apologized to Chanticleer for my actions and decided it was not right for me to keep him bound to his word after my actions earlier that evening.

A short time later I left the tavern with Lucas. We travelled to Buccaneer's Den, and though I dare not write down too much in relation to what I've been told, I can safely say that the choice I made there will quite possibly be life changing.

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

I am at a loss. Once again I find myself questioning my decisions, my feelings... everything.

My feelings for Edred have grown, yes, that I cannot deny. However, a part of me still cares deeply for Lucas... So much so that I find myself torn between the two. Did I make the right choice? Everyone else seems to think so, yet I remain unsure. And the very thought that Lucas could be dead in a week's time has left me flustered to no end...

If that were not confusing enough to deal with, Vaeda continues to speak of how I show promise, and that she has a 'vested interest', though she will not tell me why. Her keen interest in my love life has made me somewhat apprehensive of her motives.

I really must get away from everyone so I can attempt to clear my mind. Since Alaesi has returned from the Heartwood, I will give her instructions on where they can find me if necessary...

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

I had the dream again... The same, yet different... The fall seemed shorter, and the time trapped in that tiny room longer...

I am still not sure if the Lady in White is the cause of the dream, but it frightened me as much last night as the night before...

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

I dreamt of the room once more. Again it began with me falling, though the fall again grew shorter, and the stay longer. The confinement... the silence... the isolation... it grows more unbearable each night.

Edred mentioned last night that I hadn't slept well the night before. Was I as restless last night? I feel increasingly tired each time I awaken...

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

Amin nie iire amin cuive.

Tanya titta sambe nwalma amin. Amin delotha ta. Amin milya esta.

I'ere' seere naa coiasira mone yassen melamin...



I wept when I awoke.

That tiny room torments me. I hate it. I long for rest.

The only peace is time spent with my love.

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

Lantad.
I’lanta naa ai.
Huine. Dae.
Daer bela don lumbor...
I'sambe naa titta... Rudh... Eller naa n’uma men n'e...
Amin naa ereb.

Manke naa sina yamen'?
Mani naa sina yamen'?
Amin lasta... N'uma lamya...
Amin yela... Uuner onsinta...
Amin ramba... Kai.
Amin naa ereb.

Mankoi naa amin sinome?
Mankoi?
Amin naa ikotane ereb.
Niirerim lanta... Amin nainia...
Ikotane saiereb.
Amin naa ereb.

Coiasira waana...
Estela naa quella.
Coiamen waana...
Uuner oio tuluva.
Oira eresse...
Amin naa ereb.

Amin naa ten'oio ereb.



Falling.
The fall is short.
Darkness. Shadow.
Shadows move like dark clouds...
The room is tiny... Barren... There is no way out...
I am alone.

Where is this place?
What is this place?
I listen... No sound...
I shout... Nobody answers...
I scream... Nothing.
I am alone.

Why am I here?
Why?
I am so lonely.
Tears fall... I lament...
So very lonely.
I am alone.

Time passes...
Hope is fading.
A lifetime passes...
Nobody will ever come.
Eternal solitude...
I am alone.

I am forever alone.

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

Amin cuive yassene i’sambe. Eller nae n’uma lanta.

Amin hesta. Amin quenat nwalya. Amin dol naa hiise.

N’uma lamya.

Amin elee Arwen ar’ ngwe a’ he. Amin quene a' he. Re onsinte. Re anwa ar' n'nausamin. Essahe naa `Ethera. Re nyare amin sina sambe naa band ar’ amin, i’glaka. Dhaeraow. Amin dine. Amin lave ron qualm. Amin lave hin ros aikanaro no’ Tel’Quessir. Ten’ ron gurthar amin naa bar yassene sina titta sambe ten’oio.

Re nyare amin re merna tu. Re entuluva amin a’ i’re… Manka i’hin naa ndengin… Tel'Quessir coiuva, ar’ amin nauva leitha.

Amin kaimela? Amin yesta ruw...



I awoke within the room. There was no fall.

I wither. My body aches. My head is a fog.

No sound.

I saw a Lady and reached out to her. I spoke to her. She answered. She is real and not of my imagination. Her name is `Ethera. She told me this room is a prison and I, the captive. Traitor. I was silent. I allowed them to die painfully. I allowed the child to rain hell fire on The People. For their deaths I am to dwell within this tiny room forever.

She told me she wishes to help. She will return me to the day… If the child is slain… The People will live, and I will be free.

Do I dream? I begin to doubt...

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

I must say I'm thankful neither Arturos nor Renna made an appearence at the tavern last night to witness my err in judgement. I got Celestia home safely and into bed at least...A lesson learned for the next time I suppose. Moderation.

Though somewhat distracted by Celestia's state, I did manage to pay some attention to the argument that transpired between Zoe and Einhildur... Something is most definitely not right with him.

I believe I have managed to tame my magic enough that a blast wouldn't kill, yet it would still remain loud enough to hear from inside. Though unfortunately I cannot guarantee that it won't cause some harm. I also cannot guarantee that Einhildur won't see this for what it really is, and simply not open it, or at least take the precaution to disarm before opening. He may be acting strange, but he is certainly far from a fool.

I will have to speak with Zoe the next time I see her, and decide when we should act on our plan. After last night, I believe that sooner is better...

[Faeryl Tyr'athem]

It has been a long while since my last entry. So much has transpired that I am hardly sure where to begin, or if I even desire to write about any of it.

Staying with Zoe has been rather enjoyable, though I do miss the comfort of my own home, and of Edred. I believe Zoe when she says that he is fine. As for the move to Vesper... I must admit my surprise when I heard, though I do find it a more enjoyable city than Britain ever was, even if I do get lost frequently. I have yet to meet a citizen I have not gotten along with, the proximity to both forest and sea is relaxing, and it is nice not having Solus' guards barking orders at me every few minutes.

Though not everything is well. Arturos and Fawn... I am still angry. Their actions last night were rash, and I still believe that they likely made things worse. A decision like that affects us all; it was not theirs alone to make. Despite their thinking that they 'cut the head off the snake' as Arturos put it, I intend to keep both Seregon and Kathar close.

I do wish I could have given Sofia some comfort...